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Timmargh.me

Newspaper stories with an amusing twist  5

I have no idea about the validity of these stories, but they made me smile.

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said: “We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It’s possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.”

- The Daily Telegraph

Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.

- The Manchester Evening News

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description: it’s a Special Branch vehicle and they don’t want the public to know what it looks like.

- The Guardian

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, “This sort of thing is all too common”.

- The Times

At the height of the gale, the harbour-master radioed a coast-guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn’t have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.

- Aberdeen Evening Express

Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. “He’d always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out ‘Heil Hitler’.”

- Bournemouth Evening Echo

Comments

Nice seasonal page! I don’t know where you get these stories from, but please keep em comin. - charlesdawson

Completely off topic here… Timmy, I think you’ll be fascinated by this: iPhoto-like image resizing using Javascript. :^) - MHC

That’s spooky! I was looking at that last night - I followed a link from The Tao of Mac. Thanks, MHC. - Timmargh

Wow! Usually, Tao of Mac is one of my regular haunts but out of sheer intellectual laziness, I haven’t been there much in the last two weeks or so… I caught a few Yahoo! related news on John Gruber’s Daring Fireball… Yahoo Now Offering Movable Type Weblogs, Yahoo Widgets updated to version 3.0 (that’s for me, I must admit… I’m not using Tiger yet and this works in Panther 10.3.9) and Yahoo acquired del.icio.us. Yikes! Yahoo! is trying to block Google or what?… Damn I’m still off topic here… Sorry about that Timmy. :^( - MHC

No worries - thanks for the pointers. - Timmargh